In case your mother didn’t teach you

Never let society tell you what it looks like to be a woman. Decide that shit for yourself. It’s become a stereotype but there are plenty of people who have memories of watching a maternal figure apply makeup or put on “their face” before leaving the house. The idea of growing up is often associated with these rites of passage, shaving our legs, wearing a bra, putting on makeup as if that is what defines us. There is no one right way; rather, there are countless ways to exist in the world as a woman. 

Progress has been made—looking back to 1923 when the United States Attorney General declared that it was okay for women to wear pants in public. The freedom of pants! Meanwhile, we’re still trying to win the freedom over our bodies. It would almost be laughable if it wasn’t so horrific.

So much of our verbiage surrounding gender is incredibly antiquated. Take the term ladylike. As if lady is a complete description or idea, as if there is fulfillment to be found in that definition. Women contain multitudes. We are strong, caring, powerful, sympathetic, and after all we’ve endured—all we’ve fought for, even prior to 1839 when Mississippi granted women the right to hold property in their own name, with their husbands’ permission. After all of this, we hear and see messaging about what women are, what women can be and do. 

Ultimately, whatever being a woman means or looks like to you is entirely based on your experience. And as we move through life and age those experiences change and therefore our version of womanhood will too. Womanhood—a term that makes me think of a 1970’s health class where I can almost hear the film reel in the background—womanhood is a spectrum. 

We have a myriad of options other than the Madonna and the whore; although, there are those who will try to tell you otherwise. There are organizations and people in power, people in our offices and families who would have us believe we ultimately have to chose one patron saint, Jackie or Marilyn. But at our center, we are complex, we are a collection of traits and ideas, we cannot be contained!

Blog Art and Writing By Author: Sally Steele-Corbett